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Health & Fitness

Marriage is Changing... Again

The purpose of marriage has changed, which is a good thing.

Growing up, I heard lots of fairy tales that told the story of a young woman who was being forced to marry an evil old man when she was really in love with someone her age. In the story, the old man has money and power, and the young man is usually penniless, but super-attractive. If you saw The Princess Bride, you have an idea of the story line.

That story, told in many different ways, is a record of how marriage used to be in our culture and what it is becoming. Marriage used to be about money first - women were paired up with men who could take care of them and their children financially. It wasn't about love.

But marriage is changing. When it was an economic partnership, we would root for the powerful older man who can provide for the young woman. But because now it is first and formost about love, we find ourselves rooting for the younger man that the young woman loves.

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When marriage was about economics and children, it didn't matter too much who you were attracted to in terms of who you married. If a married couple loved each other, that was great, but not the first priority. The government recognized the economic priorities and put in place a whole host of protections for the financial unity of the married couple.

But now that love is the central purpose of marriage, love and attraction matter a great deal. For many years gay men and lesbian couples have been establishing families built on love and attraction, even without the economic and legal support of the state.

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The House of Delegates passed a bill yesterday that brings Maryland an important step closer to recognizing marriages between same-sex couples. It will assure that the families of same-sex couples have the rights and responsibilities of opposite-sex couples.

This is an important recognition of what has already happened - marriage has become not just an economic agreement, but a shelter for the relationships that nourish the human soul. This bill is a victory for fairness and justice, and ultimately for love.

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