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Health & Fitness

Remembering Joe and Leo

Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day!

My biological father - Joe - died in the early 1960's when I was thirteen. Years later my mom remarried late in life and as an adult I gained a stepfather - Leo.

They knew each other and the photo here shows them standing on either side of a marlin. Both of them caught marlins which they had stuffed and mounted on fireplaces.  They partied together in the 1950's; Leo was someone I always liked.

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I had a somewhat love-hate relationship with my dad complicated by his heavy drinking. For many years after his death I had difficulty remembering his good side. With age, wisdom and a willingness to face my own demons; I changed, forgave my father and began seeing him in a kinder, gentler light. 

In the early 1990's I entered a swim across the Chesapeake Bay between the bridges with hundreds of athletes. It was my first open water race and for 4.4 miles I visualized my long dead father alive on the shore ready to cheer me across the finish line. I also imagined someone who I cared for who had recently died of AIDS there, too. To him I had written a poem in which I wrote about wanting our fathers' approval and love.

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I did not know at that time I would go on to organize and coordinate the Maryland Swim for Life for People with AIDS or that I would become an experienced long distance open water swimmer. Nor did I imagine that my stepfather, Leo, would actually get to cheer me into shore after my 7.5 mile solo swim across the mouth of the Potomac River.

My dad, Joe, and stepdad, Leo, were fine men. who were human with their own demons. Today, years after they both have passed away; I remember them fondly and am grateful they were in my life.

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